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Christian psychologist and author, Dr. Henry Cloud, offers insights for about the realities of dating. View videos on the following topics:

Habits Affect Dating

Marriage Is Not For Desperate People

Dating is Not Exclusively About Marriage

Honestly Evaluate Yourself

Establish Healthy Boundaires in Dating

Obstacles in Dating

Am I Being Abused?

Despite what many may think, domestic violence does occur among Christians. Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts, or continually puts down the other person, it’s abuse.

Does your partner....

• Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
• Put down your accomplishments or goals?
• Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
• Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
• Tell you that you are nothing without them?
• Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
• Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
• Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
• Blame you for how they feel or act?
• Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?
• Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship?
• Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with your friends or family?
• Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?
  

Do You...

• Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
• Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
• Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
• Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
• Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
• Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
• Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
  

If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue.

If you are still in the relationship:

• Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs; avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom) or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
• Think about and make a list of safe people to call.
• Keep change with you at all times.
• Memorize all important numbers.
• Establish a code word or sign so that family, friends, teachers or coworkers know when to call for help.
• Think about what you will say to your partner if he or she becomes violent.
• Remember you have the right to live without fear and violence.
  

For more information, please visit Women Against Domestic Violence or The National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TDD)

WARNING! Your computer saves a record of every website you visit. If you are being abused, you should delete these records so that your abuser does not know that you have visited these sites. Click here detailed instructions on how to do this.

More Than You've Ever Imagined

You can put an end to the datelessness. Starting today—right now—you can begin a journey that will bring fun and interesting people into your life, broaden your experience of others and yourself, and lead you toward that date of all dates—a date worth keeping. With over ten years of experience personally coaching singles on dating, Dr. Henry Cloud shares his proven, very doable, step-by-step approach to overcoming your sticking points and getting all the dates you could want. The results speak for themselves. Filled with true-life examples you’ll identify with instantly, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping will prove its worth to you many times over in the exciting months ahead.

Watch Dr. Cloud's video clip now.

Our New Look

Welcome to The Couple's Connection. Click here to sign up for our mailing list and receive our posts delivered to your mailbox!

Captivating

"Every little girl has dreams of being swept up into a great adventure, of being the beautiful princess. Sadly, when women grow up, they are often swept up into a life filled merely with duty and demands. Many Christian women are tired, struggling under the weight of the pressure to be a "good servant," a nurturing caregiver, or a capable home manager.

"What Wild at Heart did for men, Captivating is doing for women. Setting their hearts free. This groundbreaking book shows readers the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be. By revealing the core desires every woman shares-to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure, and to unveil beauty-John and Stasi Eldredge invite women to recover their feminine hearts, created in the image of an intimate and passionate God. Further, they encourage men to discover the secret of a woman's soul and to delight in the beauty and strength women were created to offer."

Wild at Heart

"God designed men to be dangerous, says John Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free."

And They Lived Happily Ever After?

eHarmony.com was founded by Christian psychologist, Dr. Neil Clark Warren. According to their website,

Exhaustive research with thousands of couples found that there are 29 Key Dimensions of Compatibility necessary for success in a long term relationship. eHarmony is the only relationship site that uses a scientifically proven method to match based on these 29 crucial dimensions.

However, a marriage involves much, much more than dating and wedding cakes!

Consequently, Christian psychologists, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, have partnered with Dr. Warren's enterprise to create eHarmony Marriage, "an online program designed to help you enjoy a stronger, healthier, and happier marriage."

Personalized Assistance

If you and your fiance or spouse could use some personalized, face-to-face help, just contact OC Christian Couples. We understand your commitment to your faith and to your relationship, and we’re here to help you grow!

Couples outside Southern California may search for a professional Christian couselor at ChristianPsychologyResources.com.

Beauty & the Beast

Need a little family-friendly comic relief? Watch this free video online or order the book from our bookstore.

Wedding Plans?

Have you visited the #1 wedding website with 3.2 million unique visitors a month? TheKnot.com is a great site to help you dream and plan Your Special Day. More than 3,000 new members join each day!

You'll also want to get your marriage off to a great start with a few session of professional premarital counseling. OC Christian Couples in Southern California provides a complete assessment of your relationship plus 6 to 8 sessions with a professional couples counselor to help you prevent problems before they can start! Call (714) 865-2164 to schedule your confidential appointment.

Love & Respect Quiz

Take the "Love & Respect Quiz," adapted from J. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

Note: All information provided on this website is for general informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for a professional evaluation. If you are experiencing emotional distress, please contact a mental health professional.

What? You've never been to Movies on the Beach?

If you're looking for something a little bit different to do with your family this summer, consider visiting Newport Dunes Waterfront Resort and Marina. Each Friday and Saturday from May through September the resort offers free Movies on the Beach. "Brings the kids, lounge chairs, and treats to see movies for the whole family on our giant screen."

Can you get more "So Cal" than that??

Young at Heart

Looking for a great place to spend a summer evening?

2007 Pageant of the Masters
Where Art Comes To Life!
Laguna Beach, California

July 7th - August 31st, 2007, Gala Benefit Saturday, August 25th, 2007

This year's theme is "Young at Heart." Each night during the summer season at 8:30 the Festival of Arts presents its most famous attraction, the Pageant of the Masters: Ninety minutes of "living pictures" - incredibly faithful art re-creations of classical and contemporary works with real people posing to look exactly like their counterparts in the original pieces. An outdoor amphitheater, professional orchestra, original score, live narration, intricate sets, sophisticated lighting, expert staff, and hundreds of dedicated volunteers have won recognition for the Pageant as the best presentation of its kind.

Breaking the Idols of Your Heart

"In our thirst for significance we, like the Teacher in Ecclesiastes, give our lives our time, talents, strength, heart to anything we think will give us worth and purpose: Power. Relationships. Money. Pleasure. Work. But worshiping these idols has a high cost and still doesn't bring the fulfillment we long for.

"In Breaking the Idols of Your Heart, Dan Allender and Tremper Longman illuminate for us the Teacher's warnings and, after all his activities, his final radiant conclusion: Meaning and purpose come only when God is truly the center of our life and the object of our hope. Using a compelling fictional narrative at the start of each chapter to encourage reflection on our own life and the lives of family and friends, the authors lead us through Ecclesiastes to help us recognize and exchange cheap pursuits for the only One worth pursuing.

"Ecclesiastes is not an easy book to read, because transferring our worship from money, power and fame to God is not an easy road to travel. But as the Teacher discovered and wrote down for us, it leads to one conclusion: life lived abundantly, in freedom, hope, purpose, meaning."

Bad Couples Therapy

According to William J. Doherty (Psychotherapy Networker, November/December, 2002, 26-33),

Surveys indicate that about 80 percent of therapists in private practice do couples therapy. Where they got their training is a mystery, because most therapists practicing today never took a single course in couples therapy and did their internships without supervision from someone who had mastered the art. In other words, from a consumer point of view, coming in for couples therapy is like having your broken leg set by a doctor who skipped orthopedics in medical school.

... it’s not surprising that the only form of therapy that received low ratings in a famous national survey of therapy clients, published in 1996 by Consumers Reports, was couples therapy.

So if you're looking for couples counseling (premarital or marital), be sure to find out what couples training the therapist has received. If his or her training is not posted on a website or in other printed material, just make a phone call and ask! It could save you a lot of time and money and frustration.